I ended 2012 and started 2013 the same way... surrounded by loved ones and fiddle'n with yarn! I went in to check on the grandmonsters at midnight and whisper a prayer of thanks for my many blessings. Eden was snoring and hugging the crocheted poncho and knitted earflap hat that I made for her. That made me giggle and feel good that she loves the things I make for her.
I really am trying not to feel sorry for myself while remembering what I was doing this time last year. Last New Year's was spent with my precious Billy and the grands. It is unbelievable that in less than a week, my Billy will have been gone for a year. I miss him so much and yet, I feel him with me all the time. No, I'm not foolish to think he is here. Heaven forbid! I know he is with Ya in Glory. He left so much of himself with us. Every day I find something to laugh about as I know how he would have reacted to or thought about events and situations that arise around us.
I went to see the local doc a few months back to establish as a new patient with his practice. He was concerned that I might be experiencing depression due to Billy's death. I told him, no I was not depressed... I'm just grieving. There is a difference although at times they (depression and grief) may look the same. I do experience joy--real joy and great sadness too. I am learning to be patient with myself and let myself grieve. I do have problems leaving the house at times, but then I had problems leaving the house before Billy's death. This is something I have had to work on since I was very young.
I am so not a winter person, never have been. I am at my best during the warmer months and when the sun is shining. Winter makes me sleepy. I must have been a bear in a past life... JUST KIDDING MOM! I don't move as much as I should during the winter. Honestly I could sit and knit or crochet for hours on end... o.. wait... I do!
There is so much to be grateful for... O how I am blessed. My Charlie kissed me this morning and said, "Goodie I do love you so much baybee." My beautiful Kat is sewing in the kitchen. Steven stopped by to hug me and tell me that he loves me.
I am loved and I have the privilege of loving some of the most precious people in the world.
I really am trying not to feel sorry for myself while remembering what I was doing this time last year. Last New Year's was spent with my precious Billy and the grands. It is unbelievable that in less than a week, my Billy will have been gone for a year. I miss him so much and yet, I feel him with me all the time. No, I'm not foolish to think he is here. Heaven forbid! I know he is with Ya in Glory. He left so much of himself with us. Every day I find something to laugh about as I know how he would have reacted to or thought about events and situations that arise around us.
I went to see the local doc a few months back to establish as a new patient with his practice. He was concerned that I might be experiencing depression due to Billy's death. I told him, no I was not depressed... I'm just grieving. There is a difference although at times they (depression and grief) may look the same. I do experience joy--real joy and great sadness too. I am learning to be patient with myself and let myself grieve. I do have problems leaving the house at times, but then I had problems leaving the house before Billy's death. This is something I have had to work on since I was very young.
I am so not a winter person, never have been. I am at my best during the warmer months and when the sun is shining. Winter makes me sleepy. I must have been a bear in a past life... JUST KIDDING MOM! I don't move as much as I should during the winter. Honestly I could sit and knit or crochet for hours on end... o.. wait... I do!
There is so much to be grateful for... O how I am blessed. My Charlie kissed me this morning and said, "Goodie I do love you so much baybee." My beautiful Kat is sewing in the kitchen. Steven stopped by to hug me and tell me that he loves me.
I am loved and I have the privilege of loving some of the most precious people in the world.
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| My last and first project for 2012/2013... this chocolate brown and white makes me think of a Hostess cupcake!! |
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| Kat's first "tube" quilting project... wouldn't ya know it would be purple! |
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